Well, I suppose you have every right. You, with all your perfection. You, who never forgets an important thing, who never makes a mistake.
And, I don’t fault you for correcting me, admonishing me to do better.I am grateful for the extra ‘chances’. I appreciate the coaching, but you expect too much too soon. Why? You expected I would already know protocol about how to behave in an office. You expected I would not break the taboos of society that I don’t even know exist.
You expected that I should not reach out for help, that all I would need would be available in an online manual. You were wrong. Hate to burst your bubble, there.
You want to say that I was ‘deflecting and making excuses”. Was I supposed to remain silent when you were asking me questions? You can damn sure expect no response from me now. Not positive, not negative. Nothing. You’ve turned me cold. Sure , I made more mistakes than should ever be allowed, But when I asked for clarification on what exactly I did wrong, that was ‘deflecting”. And when I tried to explain myself, “excuses”. So, what did you want? My ten-point action plan to correct my faults?
Perhaps. Maybe that is a wise idea. Do you suppose I woke up this morning intending on fucking myself out of a great job with wonderful people? Did you think perhaps, I thrive on that? Well, I don’t. I woke up dreading the very idea that I had to come at work, being called into your office for any number of offenses I may have unwittingly committed. Perhaps it is all too much for me, being a competent, responsible adult. You thought you could guilt me, shock me, wake me out of it. But this is just who I am. A person you choose to disregard. A mom who’s been through Hell and back for her children. A wife, ex-wife, abused kid, neglected kid, a person who’s been kicked 1,000 times while down but still GETS BACK UP to fight AGAIN. I am a person with great dreams, great passion, compassion, and love for everyone. But you have relegated me to ‘fuck up’ category.
For some reason, whenever something goes wrong, it’s Lee. Whenever K brings you a story about how hurtful I was, you believe it, and even embellish it in your mind without ever even considering my side of the story. If I suggested a bit of bias going on, I am sure I would be told how inappropriate I am. Hypocrisy. You have decided, I can see in your eyes, that I am just full of crap, full of lies. I am not.
If you knew me, you would know that I will not actually run to you with every insult and injury from a co-worker. Why? We all have emotions. We all make mistakes. I would tell you that Darcie is amazing, Bo is great and helpful and funny, Jen always has a smile for me , and Lori has my back. Tracy likes to complain about me, but I love her way with members and her dedication to doing what’s right. Sheila is sweet, funny, and real. You are spiritual, insightful, kind, and compassionate. Your laughter makes my day very often.
I can also see that Kiarra, with her many faults that are hers through no fault of her own, is very accurate, professional, and has all the right stuff. She understands the protocols that I lack, and her social skills far surpass mine. I also see her pushing aside her annoyance or anger toward me when I somehow, inevitably and unintentionally wound her in some way, and I see her growing and maturing. She should ultimately be entrusted with management. She is worthy.
If you knew me, you’d know that pride is my worst enemy. But I also am very loyal. To a fault. You could cut me 1,000 times and I would come right back ,because I see the awesome beauty and power you possess. And I do respect you, very much. But the last thing I want is to hurt anyone!
I have done well in roles where customer service is the primary focus, without too many details needed on my part. Therefore, anything creative, or customer- service focused withOUT too many numerical details is right for me. I also thrive in introverted research roles, finding the answer to mysteries. I can spot the many spelling errors in the procedure manual and yet not see my own errors. Isn’t that just like a human?
So, as I regret saying goodbye, I certainly can see that you bent over backwards for me in every respect. I would only suggest a few things- take ’em or leave em.
- Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.
- Every story has TWO sides
- It isn’t always the part- timer who messed up!
- Most wrongs were not intended
- Don’t embellish a story or theory without facts to back it up.
- Sometimes even the boss is wrong
- Try to see WHY someone did something before lowering the boom
- Call people into your office to celebrate what they’ve done RIGHT from time to time.
- Re-visit the SOP on requiring employees to keep members WAITING for resolution because they are busy scouring a procedure manual, petrified of both giving the wrong answer, or making the member wait forever. Managers should ALWAYS be there to help their employees ensure great customer service. No Tickets or call backs required.
- If there’s not enough help on Saturdays to fill requests, put a disclaimer in the procedure manual which states, ” Not applicable on Saturdays. File tickets for ANY request not fulfillable by a teller. ” End the confusion. If they are not going to staff- up on Saturdays, then those who DO work Saturdays should be comfortable in saying exactly what can and cannot be expected- no ambiguity.
- Let new people know in no uncertain terms from TRAINING class what Spark is for, and what it is NOT for. Don’t let people go around thinking that it’s for any sort of help, because all that will happen is they will get in trouble for ‘bothering others’.
- ENCOURAGE people to use online banking, and staff up accordingly.EVERY call should focus on encouraging online banking. It’s not about our job security.
- Put a sign above the door that states, “PC speech only”
That’s all I have for now. Have a great rest of your career, at FU- where who you knew in High School- and their kids- still matter. And , oh- please be sure to include this my file notes, along with your armchair psychological profile and opinions about me.
Better yet, just throw my whole file in the garbage can, the place you assigned for me months ago.